The fight

10:03 PM - Shadow
I can't do this anymore I can't do this anymore I can't take another minute
I am dying inside. I am only 20 and I feel 80. Inside and out. I have lived too much. And seen too much. I can deal wtih the past. But I cannot deal wtih the future. Because I have none.
So tired of fighting. And I will never ever be able to quit fighting. This heartache is eating me alive. And I wish that I just would quit breathing. That these lungs would collapse. I have lived enough. I have seen enough.
I can't do this anymore.
I cannot walk today. I can barely move my legs. People look at me funny because I cannot walk and so I will just stay at home.
Who will want to take care of a crippled young girl. Who once had so much to offer and has had everything she ever really wanted robbed from her. If only should would just go completely numb. So she couldn't feel this pain.
I'm bending over backwards just to keep smiling. But it isnt sincere. I just can't do this anymore.
Shaking so badly.. my fingers clumsly fumble at these keys. To pour my heart out on a prayer that no one will even read this. Why I am even writing this I do not know... Wont they think I am crazy... wont they run... oh and shouldn't they... shouldn't they.