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April 24, 2006 • Monday
12:58 AM - So much more... Current mood: contemplative
Sometimes I wonder... Am I really that different...
Or do I just blend in with the rest of the girls?
Toss their hair and bat their eyes...
Turn up the music and put on their bugeyed sunglasses.
And vanity... is it such a inferior subject?
Or does it do you good somehow...
What do I have to offer a world that wants nothing from me but my looks.
Modeling and going on dates and partying all weekend..
What a waste of my brain and my heart
but what else am I supposed to do...
Stand there and smile for the camera
And do what they call "Making it"
But I want to be consoling the lonely...
hugging the sad...
comforting the sick and advising the confused..
This world will not benefit from my smile and a camera lense.
It will not benefit from pretty clothes and nights when I get so drunk I can barely feel my fingers.
Sometimes I disgust myself with they way I throw my time around.
I take my days for granted and serve myself alone.
And shouldn't I be so lucky... to even have a second chance to even rethink my actions.